P.Hernandez

I come into angry policia man's office. Is new batch of work orders. This one is from 2021, it says I need to replace the light. I bring in the new lightbulb to the angry man's office. I make sure it is right color. The old lightbulb is still there, it makes an awful buzzing sound. "Hola Senior Policia Man, I have lightbulb to fehx your broken one." I stand on the desk to reach the light and exchange it. Is simple. "Mr. Policia Man, nothing has gone wrong this time!" I say with a big smile. As soon as I get off of Senior's desk I hear a cracking sound and the corner of his desk cracks, making it lean slightly to one side. "Ah, Dios Mios. I guess I spoke too soon. I will submit an order to fehx."

"Gracias" I say as de woman opens de door. I wonder what kind of people is here, is looks like one of those weird parties where people dress up and have sex. De slip Hector gave me say garbage disposal es no good. "Hejjj, dis garbage esposal es no good seniorita. I fix."

I knock.on de door again, is obvious people are here. Es lots of cars. "Hola is Hernandez-Martinez-Guzman plumbing for chur pipes"

I drive de truck to de house. Is lots of cars in de driveway so I park on de front lawn. I grab my tool bag and walk up and knock on de door.

These days the economy is no so good. After work I work some more. Cousin Hector has a plumbing business, I make house calls. I see cousin has a work order that has been pending 778 johnston road, e says the garbage disposal no work. I get in my cousin truck and start to go toward de house.

It is time to get on with my new work orders. I see that the big policia man needs ceiling tile fixed. It is also time for the new chair. I go to big policia man's office. "Hola Senior." I say thinking about going to have Papa Hyons with mi amigos after work. "I am here to fehx el ceiling again." I say as I move my ladder into the room. I grab the new ceiling tile and place it in its place. I look at the other ceiling tile and have idea. I go back to de work truck. I grab the box with the new chair and white paint. I go inside to de office with angry policia man. I toss the chair in the corner leaving it in the box. "I fix ceiling tile senior" as I open the can of white paint. I paint over the ceiling tile which causes white paint to splatter everywhere. At last minute the paintbrush escapes my hand, sailing across the room leaving a trail of white paint. It lands on one of the fluorescent lights knocking it from the ballast, breaking on the ground. Mercury dust and glass flies everywhere. "Dios Mios." I say and cover my face with my sweatshirt so I do not inhale the bad things. "Un momento por favor." I say as I leave once again for my truck. I find a spare bulb in the back of the truck. I come back inside to angry policia man, he is still shook. I stand on ladder and replace the bulb. Only it is a cool white, not a warm white bulb, and it buzzes a lot. I check off the paperwork. "Ohkay senior bossman. When you build new chair let me know, I will take away old broken one. I will put in a work order for new light. That one is only temporarily. Have good day senior." I leave the office, dinging the door frame with my ladder and walk out.

I show up to the door that flyer from break room says to go to. I ring door bell with case of Modelos.

"Dios Mio." I say unloading all of the food out of my car. Thankfully I had sprung for the hatchback and had been at this long enough to bring my own pizza bag or else this would take quite a few trips. I go up to the building with my giant bag. I press the buzzer by the door so I can be let in. I hear the sound of someone pick up on the other side, "Hi my name is Juan Ordóñez with Door Da-" I say, before I can finish the rest of the sentence I hear heavy breathing on the speaker before it abruptly shuts off. A buzzer sounds and the door unlocks. I look at the order on my phone and read under the instructions "DELIVER TO DISPATCH CENTER". I look up and see a convenient arrow sign pointing the way. As I make my way to the room, I assume I should knock but the door is being held open and I see my cousin Pablo hauling in a table. I walk in and announce myself, "Hello, I am with door dash, I have an order from uh... Pizza Pizarro? It's for a number 9, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."

I should have had you add in pablo lmao

I arrive at big boss office. I look at my work orders. I see one for big man's office. It says "July 2020 - Mow grounds". I turn on my advanced zero turn mower with the Modelo Especial sticker on the back of it. I kiss and hang my rosario on the turn handle. I fire up the mower and start to mow the grounds. It is snowy outside so I start blowing snow everywhere. But I must do what the work order says.

As I put the ladder back in my truck I remember I ave a ceiling tile in the truck. I grab it. It smells like el cigarrillos and is brown, but it should do the job. I run back inside. More big policía are leaving the office. I go in. "Buenas noticias señor! I fehx!" I realize I forgot my ladder so I grab the chair in the corner. I stand on it. It is not tall enough for me so I stand on the arm. Just as I get the ceiling tile in and fitted correctly the arm of the chair breaks. I catch myself, but the chair is broken. "Ah Dios mio! Lo siento señor, I will put in new work order." I leave the office.

I humbly submit the 2020 Pablo Hernandez ceiling tile incident.

I look at my work orders for the day. "Ah, fehx señor ceiling." I make my way to the police station. There are more angry men in. "Hola señor, I am here to fix the ceiling." I say as one man leaves. I bring in my ladder with the new ceiling tile. The big man looks at me with a look of mad and not believing what he is seeing. I put up my ladder and carry up the new ceiling tile. As I put it in it does not go in well. Ceiling tiles are always hard to put in. I reach up and bang the divider with my hand. As I do two more ceiling tiles next to the one I just installed crack and fall to the ground. "Ah, very sorry señor. I go put work order in to clean and get you new ones." I fold up my ladder and look at the next order. "I would do today señor but I must snow plow. Adiós señor."