Chris07

'Look kid. I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass. You don't go from gung-ho ass kicking on patrol to directing traffic for 8 hours a day at a construction site without fucking up.' Pat say rather sternly. What the fuck is this guy talking about? What is this? 'Look they asked me to transfer divisions so I did. Like a good team player.' 'Bullshit. You got Volun-told. You bought that be a team player bullshit? Come on kid. I've been around here 30 years, and I know a departmental dicking when I see one.' I continue to stare at him. The fuck? He continues. 'Think about it. You love action, adventure, and busting perps. You fucked up, they can't fire you, so what do they do...they put you in a god-awful division that's the exact opposite of what you're here for...you know...to get you bored...jaded...to wear on your mind and desire to be here. It's all a ploy to get you so goddamn bored that you quit. Think about it kid, Stuck for years in traffic and not a damn promotion, not to corporal, FTO, fucking road cone coordinator...nothin.' What the...what is this guy talking about!? 'You keep mentioning that I fucked up. When exactly? What did I do that was so egregious that they would want to get rid of me?' I ask starting to get a little pissed off now. 'Don't bullshit me, kid. You've been here 5 years. 2 investigations on you...one for allegedly engaging in a brawl in a perp's house, and lets not talk about the real straw that broke the camel back....' '...and what would that be?' I ask snarkily. 'Come on, you know....the turning point. The point they moved your ass over here.' '...no...please...enlighten me.' I reply sarcastically. 'Two words...Christmas Party' he replies. *I roll my eyes* 'Aww Jesus. Here it goes.' I say. I can't believe this shit is coming up again. 'You drunkenly assaulted a firefighter and got into a huge fucking brawl with hotel security...in front of a bunch of brass mind you. It's a fucking miracle that you're even still here.' This fucking asshole. 'Look, I don't need to be lectured on something that happened years ago, okay?' I say as I stand up. 'The only reason you're still here is because Russo went to bat for you. You have no idea how much shit he got and how close you came to being thrown out on your ass for that. Also got your boy Caldwell in some hot water too, luckily he had enough kudos to dodge the bullet on it.' 'You don't know shit, Pat.' I say as I start to argue. 'Oh yes, I do. Kid, I've been here 30 years. I know nearly every damn person around here. I know what I'm talking about.' 'Why are we having this conversation, Pat? Huh?' I ask angrily as I shrug my shoulders in an exaggerated manner. 'Because I've been in your exact same situation.' 'Oh, really? You're a fellow fuck up? Great. My fucking savior. I don't need to hear this shit.' I reply angrily as I start to walk away. 'Yes, you do. Now shut the fuck up, sit down, and listen for once in your goddamn life.' he says firmly as he stands up from his seat. *For some reason I stop turn around, and start listening* 'I've been here 30 fucking years. I'm only a few away from full-blown retirement...and here I am...Detective. Not Detective Segeant...Not Lieutenant...fucking Detective...A guy with my seniority should be so far up the totem pole that Russo should be out there polishing my fucking car right now...' He pauses. I continue to listen. '...and why do you think that is? Huh? Because I fucked up, years ago. Yeah. I chased down a perp in my car as he ran away, drove up next to him, and opened my car door slamming it into his back as he ran...he fell over face first causing him to break an arm and hit his head something awful. I think he had something like 4 surgeries and doesn't talk good anymore. Needless to say, the department got sued, and my ass was on the chopping block but by some miracle, they didn't fire me. As penance, ever since that day, every time my name and application for promotion has come across the undersheriff's desks, it gets put in the shredder. So here I am. Perpetually dicked by the department for something I did 25 years ago...and I see the same shit happening in front of my eyes with you. They can't fire ya...so they make you quit. Unfortunately for them, I'm a stubborn bastard.' 'Let's be real, Pat, you're stuck here because you do shady ass shit. Tampering with evidence? Planting evidence? Intimidating witnesses?...oh and having a family connection with the captain sure helps, right?' I let out in frustration, not realizing I've just said out loud years' worth of office rumors about Pat to his face. 'You fuckin leave Russo out of it' he says starting to get angry himself as he puts his finger into my chest. He relaxes and calms himself. 'You have a fucking shot at getting out of this fucking hole you're in, and here you are, completely in denial that there's even a fucking problem.' he shouts back at me. 'How many complaints have you had since you moved to traffic? How many situations have you escalated? How many fucking fights have you gotten into with perps...on traffic duty...traffic!' *I open my mouth to reply but he cuts me off* 'If you were anyone else, you're ass would have been gone a long time ago....but obviously someone seeing some potential still in you. Some potential to turn your shit around...yet here you are...I know why you are late leaving today...you sucker punched another smart mouth asshole again, didn't you? Jesus. Another complaint? You just can't stop fucking up, can you?' he replies. That's it. This fucking guy is going too far. *I get right up in his face* 'You want to talk about a smart-mouthed asshole?' I say looking directly into his eyes and I stand chest to chest with him. My fist clenched. Pat's face is calm. His voice was calm and soft. 'Look at you. What are you going to do? Are you going to hit me? Do you want to find out just how much farther that potential and goodwill can carry you around here? Go ahead. Hit me. Seal the deal. Come on.' *I continue to stare but do not act* 'You got problems kid. Deep-seeded problems that you need help with. You better get help fast, because your career here is spiraling.' he says remaining completely calm despite my visible anger. *I relax my clenched fist* 'You're at a turning point, kid. You better fix yourself, before it's too late.' he looks me in the eyes. What the fuck am I doing? Was I really about to punch a detective? I swell full of anger but turn away from Hanagan, grab my cup of coffee, and throw it across the room. It lands on some poor sap's desk, spilling coffee all over it and some papers that were left out. *I storm out of the detective work room as Pat continues to stare at me and slowly shakes his head.

'Oh..sorry sir. It's just...the damn thing broke and took my money.' Scott replies looking slightly ashamed at having been caught. 'Trying to get yourself a midnight snack? Figures. Everyone else around here robs you, why not the vending machine too?' I say only half-jokingly. 'No sir, just trying to get some caffeine. I have a bit of a long night ahead of me.' he replies. 'You just finished a shift?' I ask. 'Yes sir. A while ago. Just got some gym time in, about to head home.' he replies. 'Ah, well I got some caffeine over here for you. Come in.' I say gesturing him into the detective's workroom. *I walk him over to the coffee maker in the workroom.* 'Here.' I say as I pour him a cup of coffee. 'This is a real man's energy drink. Been fueling men for hundreds of years. Not that sugar-laden crap you kids like.' I say matter of factly. 'Cream and sugar are there.' I say as I point to the corner of the counter. *I hand him a cup and then start to pour my own cup* 'Umm...thank you sir.' He replies in a bit of a confused voice, and then awkwardly starts adding cream and sugar. *I walk over to my desk and gesture him over.* 'Come on over.' I say to him. The room remains empty except for the two of us. Scott follows me over to my desk where I sit down, pull a chair from the desk next to mine, and gesture to him to sit. 'This is what real men do. They drink coffee and talk.' I say as I sit down. Scott looks at me confused by what's going on. *I take a sip of coffee* It tastes like it always does, cheap. *I reach down and unlock my lower desk drawer* 'Is there something you wanted to talk to me about, sir?' he asks, still confused about the whole situation. 'No. Nothing in particular.' I say as I pull out a half-empty bottle of Irish Whiskey. 'Here. This ought to spice that office sludge right up.' I say as I start to pour some whisky into his cup and then into mine. 'Uhhh....thank you....sir' his confusion only worsens to the the point of nervousness. 'Hey kid, quit the sir shit. You're making me feel old...It's Pat...and for Christ's sake, relax. You're not in trouble or anything.' I say noticing how tense and nervous he's become. 'So you're doing what now? Traffic, right?' I ask him trying to start a conversation. 'Uhh yes sir...I mean Pat' he replies nervously. 'Traffic from patrol, huh?' I say as I take a sip of my spiked coffee. 'Who'd you piss off to earn that?' 'Uhhh...no one. They asked, and I was a team player and volunteered' he replies taking a sip of coffee somewhat trying to avoid the question. I can tell he's surprised by the strength of my vintage bottle of whiskey. *There is a long pause* 'Listen kid. I've been watching you from afar for a while. I gotta say. You remind me a lot of myself when I first started.' *He looks at me oddly* 'Oh?' he replies. 'Yeah. Full of energy, jumping at any opportunity to get into the action, taking no bullshit from anyone...you got a lot of potential. Shit like that.' He remains silent. 'I'm not the only one who sees it in you. You've got a potential future here.' I reply as I take a sip. 'Potential?' he replies looking up at me confused again. 'Yeah well...' I pause. Fuck it. I'm going to be straight with him. 'Look. You've been here what....4 years? 5 years? They take you off of patrol and stuck you into the shittiest shift in the traffic division. You definitely pissed someone off.' I say as I start to chuckle. 'What do you mean?' he replies, now sounding intrigued. 'Look, kid. I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass. You don't go from gung-ho ass kicking on patrol to directing traffic for 8 hours a day at a construction site without fucking up.' I say matter of factly. He looks at me dead in the eyes. This isn't going to go well, but this kid needs to hear it.

*I walk out of the parade room* I just got yelled at for another civilian complaint. Just the thing I need after another shitty day in traffic. At least I got a quick workout in at the station's gym. Now it's time for some caffeine. *I sigh* I fucking hate Traffic Division. God, something needs to give. Ever since they moved me to traffic my whole life has been one giant boring record stuck on repeat. I hate this shit so much. It's boring as hell, but what can I do? Quit? No. The word quit doesn't exist in my vocabulary. Better things will come. They have to. I can't be stuck in this hell hole of a division forever...can I? *I swipe a credit card on the vending machine and select an energy drink* The machine starts to come to life, then rattles, and....nothing. Nothing comes out. The words "Thank you, Enjoy!" Appear on the vending machine display. *I check the bottom of the machine and feel nothing inside. The damn thing broke and stole my money!* 'Awww...you gotta be kidding me!' I say in frustration. *I give the side a light tap* 'Fucking piece of shit!' I say as I slap the side even harder, filling the hallway with noise. Fucking figures. Department wants to fuck me, might as well let the vending machines in on the action too. 'Fucking asshole' I say even louder as I give the vending machine a hard shove and light kick. 'Take it easy kid. You break it, it's gonna take the county 3 damn years to fix it.' I hear from off to the side. I see Detective Hanagan leaning in the doorway of the detective work room looking at me with a light smile. *I blush with embarrassment* 'Oh..sorry sir. It's just...the damn thing broke and took my money.' I reply trying to hide my embarrassment.

'That's enough for one night.' I say as I look up from the computer screen. 10:42p. Jesus. What am I still doing here? *I look around the room and see it's completely empty* I save my report and struggle to find the damn logout button on the computer. 'Damn computers.' I mutter as I find the logout button and see my desktop disappear. I take off my glasses and shove them into my desk drawer. 'Awww...you gotta be kidding me!' I hear from the hallway outside the workroom. *Bang* The sound of someone hitting something metallic. Rings through the mostly silent air. *I head to the door and peek out into the hallway* Out in the Hallway, Jaydon Scott stands in front of a vending machine looking frustrated. 'Fucking asshole' he says in frustration as he hits the front of the vending machine. 'Take it easy kid. You break it, it's gonna take the county 3 damn years to fix it.' I say as I lean in the door way looking at him with curiosity.

*I get out of my car and pull up to the house* I loved the stares I got wearing my costume while driving up here. *I get out of the car, and head to the back seat and pull out a large aluminum serving tray covered in foil.* *Closing the door with my leg, I proceed up to the door and knock* Knock Knock The door is already partially open, so I push it open. 'Hello? I'm here to get fucked up and I've seemed to have lost my way.' I say nonsensically waiting for someone to acknowledge my entrance. I hope Breslin like my costume. I'm actually quite proud of how well my self face painting job turned out. Drawing a skeleton face on yourself is no easy task. The bloody skeleton suit, while of a nice enough feeling material, is something I can't claim credit for it. It's a $35 costume from the party store, more than worth it for one night.

*I walk out and over to my desk and sit down. I log in* I select Orders “Ok sweetie. Bottoms all the way off. Here’s a gown you can put on. Just cover yourself with this sheet….” I hear the nurse say as she closes the curtain in front of the doorway just as I leave the room. *I walk over to my workstation and log in.* *I type, Morphine. Select 4mg IV Once. Enter.* *I type Zofran. Select 4mg IV Once. Enter.* *I type in a quick HPI and then return to the exam room. * The nurse has Sjostrom all set up and in a hospital gown, and I perform the pelvic exam as the nurse prepares the pain and nausea medication and then proceeds to give it to her. Normal external exam, obvious blood. Internal exam shows no trauma or lacerations. Cervical os appears like it may be open a little, but no products of conception seen. ‘All done’ I say. I relay my findings to her and conclude that we need the ultrasound to know for sure what’s going on. A young, pretty, red headed girl in dark green scrubs walks in. The “Ultrasound” on her badge is prominent and portends her intended task. ”Hi, I’m Abbie. I’m here to perform your ultrasound.” She says as she starts to wheel in her ultrasound machine. ‘Alright, I’ll be back a little later once we get some results back.’ I say as I walk out. *I log back into my computer and look at the lab results.* They’re all still pending. I’ll check on it later. I’ve got other people to look after.

*I see a new name pop-up under the patient tracker.* 3 - RES7 - Sjostrom, Erika - 32 - F - GYN Bleed *I sign up for the new patient* "That name sounds familiar" I say to myself. "Sjostrom...Sjostrom...Sjostrom..." I can't seem to remember where I know that name from. *I get up and walk over to Resus 7 and walk in as a nurse is getting her vitals* *I see the uniform and immediately remember where I know that name from* 'Miss Sjostrom. I see you're on the receiving end this time around, I hope you weren't too difficult a patient for your colleagues here.' I say as I walk in and walk to bedside. 'What going on today?' I ask. *I get a brief rundown of what's going on. She sounds to be in some pain* 'Okay. So you 've had some back and lower abdominal pain off and on for the past 15 minutes or so along with bleeding.' I say in summary as I walk over to a box of gloves and don a pair of large gloves. 'So it is possible that you might be pregnant, right?' I ask as I walk back over. '...and you've never had bleeding like this before?' I say as I arrive at her side again. 'You're 2 weeks late and you're normally very regular with your cycles? You're not a heavy bleeder?' I ask as I place my hand on her abdomen and start to push on different areas of her abdomen. 'Does any of this hurt?' I ask as I push on the lower part of her belly. 'Ok. Do you have any history of bleeding disorders? Any medical history of any sort?' I ask as I stop and step back. 'Any surgeries?' I ask as I take my gloves off. 'Ok, and you've had how many pregnancies? How many births?' I ask. 'Ok. So there's a few things that can be going on here so I'm going to run some tests to see what exactly is going on.' I start to explain. 'So the things this could be range from minor to serious. First step is I need to check if you're pregnant, because if you are, I need to make sure you've not having an ectopic pregnancy...a pregnancy that is growing in your fallopian tube instead of your uterus...' '..because that's a surgical emergency that would need to be dealt with immediately...so I'm going to take some blood, have you pee in a cup to check your urine, and do a pelvic ultrasound. Additionally I'm going to need to do a pelvic exam and see if I can see a source of the bleeding.' I finish. 'Sound like a plan?' I ask before I'm interrupted. 'I can enter orders for you' the nurse says as she logs on to the computer in the room. 'Sure, thank you.' I reply as I look towards her. 'Let's do a CBC...CMP...PT...PTT...a quantitative beta-HCG...Type and screen...Pelvic Ultrasound...and a U A.' I look back at Sjostrom before turning back to the nurse. '...oh and I'm going to need her in a gown and a set-up for a pelvic exam, if you please.' I ask nicely. 'Sure thing' she says as she walks out. 'Alright, so that's the plan? Any questions or anything?' I ask Sjostrom.

*I walk in and take a seat at an empty workspace at the nurses’ station. I open my backpack up and pull out my stethoscope and sling it around my neck before closing my bag and shoving it under the desk.* “Good morning Dr. Grant” a nurse says to me as she walks by. ”Good morning.” I say to her in reply. *I get up and grabs some gloves from a nearby box and proceed to put them on.* ”Busy last night?” I ask as I proceed over to the tub of cleaning wipes, and pull a wad of wet wipes from the tub with my gloves hands. ”Oh pretty typical, started out super busy but we got it taken care of.” She replies and she walks off. *I proceed to clean my workspace. The desk, keyboard, mouse, dictation microphone, and even the nearby telephone. Nothing escapes getting wipes with disinfectant wipes.* ”Hey Chris. They let you off of nights?” *I look over and see one of the other attendings sitting down at a workstation at the other end of the long desk.* ”Yeah. I’m just as shocked as you are.” I say as I remove the gloves and throw them and the disinfecting wipes away in a near by trash can. I sit down at the computer and log in. Pulling up the ER tracker I see an unusual sight. ”Wow. Only 12 people in the ER and 0 waiting?” I ask. ”yeah. It died around 3am and we got this place cleaned out. So it’s all nice and ready for you.” He replied. “You have any to sign out?” I ask him. ”Actually no. I have 4 here. One is Holding for ICU, and the other 3 are dispo’d. One is already admitted and the others have been discharged.” He replies. ”Great. Let’s hope this isn’t the calm before the storm.” I reply cautiously. “Oh I’m sure you’ll pay for this later.” ”Definitely.” ”Great.” He says as he pick up his leather satchel. “Well, try not to have too much fun” he says as he starts to walk out. “Take care.” I say as he leaves. I think today’s is going to be a good day…I hope.

*I walk out of the Library holding a copy of Weight Loss Made Easy by Val Kilmer with a Foreword by Rosie O'Donell in hand.* 'All this walking is killing me' I say to myself as I pant. *I look out at the burning car and bustling fire scene* 'GOOD GOD!' I shout loudly in astonishment. *I quickly find my second wind and use all my energy to waddle as quickly as possible.* *Huff Puff* *I quickly waddle up to the fire scene. This is perhaps the farthest I've ever walked without stopping to catch my breath.* 'I can't stop now...must keep going...' I say with determination while struggling to breath. *I walk just past the flaming car to a nearby hotdog stand* A large sign painted on its front advertises: Jumbo Polish Sausages Buy 1 Get 1 Free. 'I'll take 8.' I say to the vendor. The fire scene continues to unfold behind me.

*I walk into ER North and take a seat at a computer next to the off-going attending. I proceed to clean my work area and make small talk with the off-going attending. Once I'm done cleaning I take a seat and log into my computer.* Our conversation about Skiing comes to a conclusion. 'Ok. You got any to sign out to me so you can get out of here?' I ask him. 'Yeah. I got 3.' He replies. 'First is a 39 year old male, came in for pleuritic chest pain, cough, and shortness of breath. Cardiac and pneumonia work-up is negative. No real risk factors. Resident got a Dimer on him...and it came back mildly elevated...so he's off getting a CTA now. If its negative, which I suspect it will be, he can go home.' 'Sounds like someone learned why its best not to go down the rabbit hole.' I remark as I quickly look at a few things on the patient's chart. 'Next one?' I ask, ready to hear about the next patient. *He continues to give my the Cliff notes on the remaining two patients I'll be taking over.* Neither is anything really crazy. All the hard work has been done, they are just awaiting some lab results before being dispositioned. *Once he's done. We exchange pleasantries while he packs up, and then finally leaves.* *Looking around I see Thompson (@Alpha) walk in* He must have just started his shift as well. 'Hey Thompson. What music are we playing this morning? You got first request.' I say holding up a Bluetooth speaker.

*As the side wall comes off, my weight is no longer suppported. I fall to the ground with an earth rumbling thud* ‘OH GOD! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK Y.....URGH!’ My stomach pain hits again. ’Is this...is this how I die? At the hands of my own gluttony? DAMN YOU HOLY STROMBOLI!!! DAMN YOU!!!’ I let out in a mad yell as I look upward and point my finger up toward the ceiling as if cursing God himself. ’If I die...I want my collection of half eaten candy bars to go to Morgan. She always seemed to appreciate the uniqueness of my collection. 15 years of half eaten candy bars...each half eaten by different celebrities.’ I say as I collapse back down onto the floor, giving up all hope. ’...and...I want Charles to have my collection of Colonel Kraut’s Brautwurst Bunker WWI German army helmet shaped tooth picks...since he always seemed to mention them. I know he’ll appreciate it.’ I say completely oblivious that Charles was always disgusted by the collection of used toothpicks, and often made his remarks out of pure sarcasm. ’...and tell my wife....NO...’ I say with a sudden jolt of desire to fight. ’ol Jim ain’t going down that easy!’ *I try to get up, but I find it impossible* ‘I can’t get up...wait...I need more energy...there’s a half eaten, 2 foot long stromboli on my desk...bring it here! I need to finish it for energy!!’ I say completely ignoring the fact that eating that shrine to excess got me into this situation to begin with.

'If you want to slip him some tongue you better do it quick before the ambulance gets here' 'eh hehehehe' I laugh overly sarcastically. 'Why don't you give him the old reach around you fucking queer bait.' I say frustrated by the disgusting situation. *After what seems like an eternity, the cavalry finally shows up* Two fireman walk in and stand in the doorway. 'Well...well...well...look at what we got here.' one of them says as he pauses at the doorway. 'Man, your guy's CPR is like....wow...' the other says. 'Gee thanks guys. You know, we've been perfecting our technique for the past...I don't know...5 minutes....ARE YOU GOING TO JUST STAND THERE OR ARE YO UGOING TO HELP?' I say. 'Yeah...I think you guys have helped enough.' he says as they enter and squeeze us through. 'You guys wouldn't happen to know what the deal is here would you?' One of the fireman asks with a snarky condescending tone. 'I just found him here not breathing. Still warm.' I start. Fucking hose monkey treating us like we're idiots. '...yeah...I think he just finished spending the night with your mom and decided he'd rather OD on smack than live with that memory...' I reply snarkily. '...the fuck did you just say?' the fireman says starting to get up. '...hey Paul...can we focus here please?' the other one says to him as he starts to take over compressions.

'Look at you talking shit even though I saw you shopping for yoga mats the other day, Your a man bun away from becoming Kai.' ‘Namaste yogini.’ I reply as I bow my head and bring my hands up to prayer. 'Real smooth though.' ‘Yeah...pretty good...for an amateur...’ I say. I adopt a hispanic sounding lispy accent. ’Joo see honey...joo need to turn ju booty more. We need to see more more cheek, por que es fuego, honey. Mas cheek makes de meng wild.’ I smile at my own rediculousness. ’So, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know, we may be seeing some more of each other at work. I see your shift is always open and I’m poor as shit...so...yeah...All aboard the OT train.’ ’I’m so sorry...you’re stuck with me.’ I say trying to keep a serious face. *Kai comes back and drops off our drinks without saying a word.* *I take a drink* It tastes like tea, root beer, and lemon. I struggle to gulp it down. Ok...maybe I went a little too hipster on my first try. ‘Ehh hmmm...now that’s a man bun drink.’ I say clearing my throat. ’...in all seriousness though...it tastes like ass’ I say in a low voice leaning over closer to Breslin. ’Okay, so since you brought it up...what do you got against yoga? Shit’s fire. I swear it’s what’s keeping me from jacking up my back.’ ’You know our medical director is a big yoga guy. I ran into him at a gym and saw him almost pulling off a full hand stand.’ *I pick up my glass* ’True story’ I take another drink, completely forgetting about how awful it tastes.

'You mean the Kalechi Korean free range chicken tacos?' 'Uhhhhh....yea....sure....with the Kale slaw.' I reply. *Kai writes down my order and walks away* *I sit and stare at Breslin.* 'Sooooo...I'm getting some vibes here. Some....negative energy. I think I need my chakras re-aligned' I say to Breslin Jokingly. 'So I guess your modeling career is really taking off, eh?' I say referring to the sexy pic she sent me last night. I'm going from 0 to 60 in about 3 seconds.

'This place is pretty pricy. Know what your getting?' 'Yeah. No kidding.' I say responding to the pricing. 'Well...seeing as I have no clue what half the stuff on this menu are....and I'm not quite feeling the...Miso Salmon and Kale Salad...I'm thinking the taco special would be hard to mess up.' I reply. *I put my menu down* 'You?'

'100 because you don't have the balls to do it.' 'Ouch' I reply in a hurt tone of voice. 'Your server Kai will be with you in a few minutes.' 'Kai? Shit. We hit the Shangri-La of Hipster culture.' I whisper to Breslin. 'Oh hey there Kai. I would like...' *I look over the menu* Jesus. I've not heard of half of the drinks on this menu 'Well...I'm not quite to the point of needing a beer at 2 in the afternoon....so I think I'll try the...uhhhhhh...Organic Free-Trade Iced Tea.' 'Ok. Cool. Would you like to add lemon and sassafras?' he asks me. 'Ummmm....sure...?' I reply confused. What the hell did I just order?

*I walk towards the restaurant. I'm parked right around the corner. I'm wearing Jeans and dark navy hoody underneath my own bulky jacket* *BZZZT BZZZT* My phones vibrates. *I pull it out and read the message.* I start to reply but see Breslin as I round the corner of the street. *I stop replying and walk up behind her* 'I'm right here' I say in a deep voice behind her ear. 'Let's head in. It's freezing out here.' *We walk inside.* Thank god it's warm in here. Place isn't very crowded. Only a few tables are occupied. 'Wow...you know this place is hipster...they serve their drink in mason jars.' I say to Breslin as we wait for a host to show us to a table. 'How much would you give me to jump up on that table and shout: Organic is a lie ... ?'

'UGGHHHH' I scream out in pain, unable to grab my throbbing gut. 'Hello, I'm with the fire department. Start right there and we'll get you out.' 'Oh thank goodness. This is a little embarrassing, but please...let me out...I hate tight spaces!' I say starting to panic. I try and move and shake the stall walls.' 'Oh god, please get me out of here! Please!' *I shake the stall walls but don't budge. I only manage to get myself stuck further.* 'Charles! Charles! Are you there!?' I shout out in a panic. 'I need someone to grab me a 2 liter bottle of Seven-Up and my bottle of Rolaids out of my bag.'

*ZZTTT ZZTTT* 'Ok meet you there. 2 sound good?' ‘2 is good. see you there’ *Send*

*ZZTTT ZZTTT* 'Its some hipster place in fort shannon. I think they're doing sushi donuts' 'Uh sure. y not. want to meet there?'

'Whats the new pop up restaurant?' *send*

'So I guess the dumpster behind the movie theater is out?' 'I hear the Walton's Pancake Parlor is nice. Some of the guy I worked with have been raving about it and I wanna try it out.' *send*

*VTTT VTTT* The phone vibrates. A new text message. I wake up from my sleep and take a look. 'You should have come by. We could have had fun... ' 'You want to do something together soon? I kinda miss you' 'Come on by? I know you werent thinking about playing Twister. Hungry? I can bring some coffee and breakfast over and we can figure out what we want to do. I'm off today' *send*

'Shit, Jim I don't know what you want me to do. I'm gonna have to call an ambulance.' 'Charles you gotta get me outta here. I'm stuck. I hate tight spaces!' I say starting to panic.

'Charles! Jesus. Come in here!' I say in desperation. *He enters* 'Charles....*huff* *puff*...Thank god....*huff* *puff*....I'm...stuck...I can't get out of the stall!' *Stomach pain hits again* 'Ugghhh and my gut is killin' me.' I say doubling over in pain.