DeRuvo's Italian Restaurant

[R. O'Reilly]

*I choose to ignore the threat to reassign me to the jail, knowing that I'd immediately quit for the State Patrol if I was reassigned. Jailing wasn't my idea of a fun time. I decide not to reply to either of his threats and instead look over to Steph.*

'I'm a pretty simple guy, really. I like working on my car, shooting, building firearms. Gaming.'

[Z. Russo]

*I need to make this work so Ashley doesn't hate me.*

'I'm a pretty simple guy, really. I like working on my car, shooting, building firearms. Gaming.'

'What kinda car you got?'

*Trying to find some common ground.*

 

[R. O'Reilly]

'A Dodge Challenger SRT. I've thought about getting an older Charger and restoring it, taking it to meets, you know. You much of a car man, Captain?'

*I finish off my drink and send for another. Hopefully the Captain and I would be able to find some common ground tonight before we went our separate ways.*

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

A large navy blue Chevy Suburban pulls into a handicap parking spot in front of the restaurant. The front suspension looks well beyond saving, especially on the driver's side. 

*I unlatch the driver's door and push it wide open. I look over and see my wife in the passenger seat looking into the sun-visor mirror messing with her mascara*

'Jesus, Helen...you're still messing with that makeup? You know we're already 5 minutes late for our reservation.' I say in a short tempered manner.

'Shut up' she says barely giving me any attention. 

'Let's go, I'm starving to death here.' I say as I start to wiggle and shift myself from between the steering wheel and the seat.

*I move side to side with great effort. My chest and stomach hit the car horn with every attempt to free myself*

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEP

Failing to turn myself enough to step out of the driver's seat I take a brief pause.

Helen closes the mirror and flips the sun-visor back up. She struggles a bit but gets out of the car with relatively little issue.

*I take a deep breath and suck my stomach in as much as possible. With a huge effort I manage to free myself from the driver's seat and make a slow, struggled attempt to make my way to the ground. After a few seconds, I manage to make contact with the ground.*

'Ahhhhhh....Christ.' I sigh in relief.

'I think that seat is stuck all the way forward or something.' I remark angrily at the great effort it took for me to get out.

I'm oblivious that the seat is already as far back as it goes and the the issue actually lies between the seat and the steering wheel.

*Helen and I lock arms and we both proceed into the restaurant. I waddle, wheeze, and struggle to breath under my immense weight and the great effort it takes to move all 600 pounds of my mass. My flab shuffles and rolls with every step. *

I'm wearing my favorite turqoise blue polo shirt sized 6XL and size 76 khaki trousers. Helen is wearing one of her modest yet oddly stylish plus sized dresses. She's a very large woman with a face caked in make-up, but I love every pound of her. Fortunately for me though, 'Ol Jim is still the king of the house pound for pound.

We walk up to the host podium. The manager appears to be manning the podium at the moment. He greets us as we approach.

'Mr. Kowalski! Mrs. Kowalski! Good evening.' the manager greets us.

'Good...*heavy breath* evening Jesse. *heavy breath*' I greet him breathlessly.

'We have your table ready right this way.' he says as he leads us to the dinning area. After a few steps, he stops one of the hosts returning from the dinning area and tells him to grab two menus.

*We walk into the dining area. I waddle and breath heavily. People stare at me. I pay them no attention. I know it's not every day people get to see 'Ol Jim Kowalski.*

Something isn't right. Jesse immediately starts scrambling around and yelling at people in half English and half Italian. Immediately, two waiters start rearranging tables.

'Sorry about that Jim.' Jesse says to me. 

They've cleared a large path for me to walk down to our table. 

*Helen and I both waddle to our table and have a seat. The manager pulls out two chairs and places them next to each other for me to sit on. I waddle myself into position, as I turn to sit, my side-flab hits the back of someone at the 6 person table next to me. I'm completely oblivious.*

*I sit down and comfortably fill both seats with my mass.*

*We get handed menus.*

'No thanks. I already know what I want. Two orders of antipasti, three orders of fried raviolis, and the  Double Colossus Pizza....oh and a bottle of Pinot Noir.' I say. 'You know what you want, honey?' I ask Helen as she looks over the menu.

[Z. Russo]

'A Dodge Challenger SRT. I've thought about getting an older Charger and restoring it, taking it to meets, you know. You much of a car man, Captain?'

*I look over when I hear some commotion, Then I see Big Jim, I have never seen more of a human spectacle than Big Jim. I zone out.*

'He bought 3 big macs to the 911 meeting last month and then went out to lunch. How is he not dead?'

*I recompose myself.*

'I have a 2003 Mercury Marauder as my weekend car. I've had it since new and it has 67,000 original miles. I'm also looking for a project car. I'm looking to do a restoration of my first cop car.'

[R. O'Reilly]

*I feel a slab of meat slap me in the back as Russo looks away, and I slowly turn around to see what struck me. Greeted by the spectacle of the small planetoid that's invaded the restaurant, I manage to hold myself back from open-mouthed awe before turning back to Russo as he speaks.*

'Three? Dear Lord. He sounds like a walking heart attack.  Can he even fit in an ambulance?'

*I shake my head in disbelief as he goes on about his car.*

'Sounds pretty nice. So I take it you're a fan of sleepers, huh? I'm more of a muscle car man myself, but I can understand the attraction.'

[Z. Russo]

'Sounds pretty nice. So I take it you're a fan of sleepers, huh? I'm more of a muscle car man myself, but I can understand the attraction.'

'Ive always been a Ford man, I liked the Impala SS when it came out in 1994 but I was a rookie cop who could barely afford my hand-me-down Grand Marquis and my one bedroom apartment in Oxnard. When the Marauder came out in 2003 I was a new sergeant and we had Ashley so we wanted something new and safe so we traded in the Jeep Cherokee we had at the time. I told my wife that I was going to get a mountaineer but came back with the Marauder. She wasn't happy when I convinced her it was a regular grand marquis and then she looked up what it actually was.'

Ashley: 'Don't worry Ricky he cares more about the car then he does about anyone in this family being happy.'

*Step shoots her a death glare.*

[R. O'Reilly]

*I nod and listen as the Captain tells the story of how he got the Marauder. As Ashley pops off, I wince internally. Not the time or place, Ashley. Trying to make nice with your dad so he doesn't kill me. I cough, looking a little uncomfortable. I wasn't really sure what to say. Fortunately, I was saved by the waitress appearing with our entrees, placing plates down on the table.*

[Z. Russo]

*The waitress serves us our food. I thank her.*

'So what part of Ireland is your family from?'

 

[R. O'Reilly]

*I  thank the waitress, then glance over to the Captain as he asks about Ireland and the family. Unusual question, but I was happy to entertain it.*

'Dublin, mostly, but I've got family all over. What about your family, sir?'

[Z. Russo]

'Galway, mainly. My father's side comes from Genoa Italy. When I retire one of the things I have planned is go to Europe with the family. Stephanie's Father is English so we would visit the UK and then take a train to Italy'

[R. O'Reilly]

*I nod, listening.*

'A European trip has always been something I've wanted to do. Fraid I haven't done much in the way of travel, especially foreign travel. Ireland is definitely on my bucket list.'

[Z. Russo]

'A European trip has always been something I've wanted to do. Fraid I haven't done much in the way of travel, especially foreign travel. Ireland is definitely on my bucket list.'

 

'Well like i said its for when I retire. My wife has summers off so it's dependant on me unfortunately. But I would like to be a big family trip, possibly taking Ashley's grandparents as well '

[R. O'Reilly]

*I nod.*

'Completely understandable. Sounds like a really nice plan, sir.'

*I glance up as the waitress brings our entrees, and I silently thank God for the break in conversation.*

[Z. Russo]

'Completely understandable. Sounds like a really nice plan, sir.'

'If it wasn't nice would I have planned it?'

*He begins to eat.*

'So what were you like before the academy? Did you ever do anything wild, Drink, party? I know the idea of the academy can change a person...'

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

"SPLENDIDO!" I say loudly as 3 waiters start to bring my appetizers to the table.

*The room goes silent for a moment.*

I'm already 3 glasses of red wine into this evening.

The waiters drop two large polished slabs of cedar adorned with an artfully displayed assortment of cured meats and cheeses. The two wooden slabs take up the entire end of the table. Behind them, are three baskets of deep fried raviolis and several ramekins filled with marinara sauce.

'Oh...perfect...perfect!' I say loudly as the waiters drop off my appetizers. 

'Bene! Bene! Gratzi!' I say happily.

The beautiful antipasti is no match for my fat hands as I take hands full of cured meat and cheese and proceed to shove them into my mouth.

'Delizioso!' I exclaim with my mouth full.

*Food bits splatter all around in my vicinity.*

The more wine I drink, the louder I get. I should have been born in Italy.

[R. O'Reilly]

'If it wasn't nice would I have planned it?'

*Well, that was...confrontational, for sure. Best to avoid it. I choose not to answer as he moves on to the next question.*

'Do you know any 20-something that's never drank? I by no means am not, nor have I ever been, an alcoholic, but sure, I drank occasionally before the academy. I attended parties, sure. Drugs, no. Never. I've always wanted to be in law enforcement, and I steered away from the things and people that would jeopardize that.'

[Z. Russo]

'Do you know any 20-something that's never drank? I by no means am not, nor have I ever been, an alcoholic, but sure, I drank occasionally before the academy. I attended parties, sure. Drugs, no. Never. I've always wanted to be in law enforcement, and I steered away from the things and people that would jeopardize that.'

*I nod at his response as we start eating*

'How's your food?'

*Ricky nods his head.*

'We've been coming here for years. it's the italian in me. The Irish aren't exactly known for their food.'

*I say with a chuckle. *