911 Communications Center

[A. Tai]

*I pause for a second to see if anyone is going to make the Tai/Thai comparison. Thankfully no one does.*

'Well, Thai food is always a good way to celebrate. Any feedback from' *As I nod towards Big Jim.*

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

*I walk into the bullpen area with my backpack on my back which appears humorously small against my massive body. In my hands I'm carrying a large pink pastry box.*

I Huff and Puff as I waddle from side to side slowly making my way to my desk.

*HUFF...PUFF...HUFF...PUFF*

My breathing is loud and fast. You'd think I was running a marathon, but all I've done is walk to my desk. I've had to stop and take 4 breaks just walking in this morning. Carrying this large pink pastry container is no easy feat.

'Well, Thai food is always a good way to celebrate. Any feedback from'

'I....*HUFF* *PUFF*...love...*HUFF* *PUFF*...Thai.' I say as I near closer to the desk.

'Morning...*Heavy breathing*...everyone.' I say with a wheeze. 

*I reach my desk and shove the pie of trash off the edge of the desk into the overflowing trashcan off to the side of it.

Hmmm...my desk is black...I never knew that.

With my newly found clear space on my desk I place the pink box down.*

'*Heavy Breathing*....hey....morgan baby..*heavy breathing*' I start hunching over the desk gasping for air. My chin and neck fat merging into my chest fat with every breath.

'phew....*heavy breathing*...damn that's a long walk from the parking lot' I say struggling to catch my breath.

*I pull out my chair and slowly maneuver myself into position before free-falling my enormous derrière into the chair.*

PLOP

'Oh...Jesus....' I say in relief once I'm seated in the chair. 

I continue my heavy breathing, but notice a slight improvement.

'Morgan! *heavy breathing* Congratulations on Dispatcher of the year. *heavy breathing*' I say happily still panting.

'If it couldn't have gone to me, *heavy breathing* I'm glad it went to you. Your picture looks incredibly beautiful *heavy breathing*  over on the wall.' I say.

'Here....*heavy breath* I brought you lovely ladies breakfast. *heavy breath* To celebrate Morgan's triumph over the workplace politics.' I say as I start to open the pink pastry box. 

Inside are a dozen Extra-Large cinnamon rolls with frosting. 

* I have a paper towel roll on the corner of my desk, which I grab. I pull off a handful of paper towel and lay it on the desk, like a think paper-towel placement.

I grab 2 of the humongous cinnamon rolls and place them on the paper towel. 

Off to the corner of the pastry box as two 12oz styrofoam containers. I pull one out and remove the lid from the container, revealing a surplus of extra frosting.

I begin digging into the cinnamon rolls with my morbidly obese hands and start to shovel  half of it into my mouth.

'Mmmm....oh please..help yourselves!' I say with my mouth full.

*I swallow my first bite and reach for the styrofoam container of frosting. I tilt my head back and tilt the container as it hovers above my mouth.

I proceed to drink the warm thick white frosting as it pours from the container and into my mouth, like a stream of elmer's glue.*

[M. Price]

'Thanks, I'll have mine later'

*As Big Jim's offers up some cinnamon rolls I figure I better pass on them right now.  Though they do look good I really do not want sticky frosting all over my keyboard while I'm trying to work.  Putting on my headset I hear a call come in. An MVA in Essex with some injuries that I dispatch Essex PD, Station 6, and AMR too.  It's going to be a long shift if calls are coming in this quickly.*

[C. Aylward]

*I sit from behind my console. I hear the lumbering steps and labored breathing. I slide down in my chair as Big Jim walks in the room. I can here him moving things about his desk and then offering Cinnamon rolls to the office.*

 

'Mmmm....oh please..help yourselves!'

*Its a trap. If anyone goes near them Big Jim will be gnawing on there arm faster than that guy got killed in the first scene of Jurassic park. I look between the screen just as he sits down and starts drinking from a styrofoam cup. Its not like Jim to bring his own coffee since we have the Keurig in the breakroom. He tilts the cup really high takes a long swig then puts it down. I see a white sticky splotch on Jim's beard. Is he drinking frosting? I clear my throat.*

'Hey Jim, I heard each sip of frosting takes 5 years off your life. Have another sip.'

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

'Haha' I laugh with my mouth full, small bits of cinnamon roll coming out of my mouth as I laugh. 

'Ol Jim here has 9 lives.' I say to Charles.

'Last time I went to the doctor, they actually said I was too healthy. Can you believe that!? Healthy as a horse! Clydesdale to be precise' I say as I smack my enormous gelatinous belly.

'Guess you're stuck with me here for a while Charles. I got my eye on that LT spot. They can't possibly pass me up again. 16th time is the charm...I'm telling ya!' I say as I start licking my fingers.

'It's all politics. That's why you got the promotion. You're gifted with being able to navigate those politics. You're a regular Ronald Reagan! Me? I'm more of a Jimmy Carter.' I say to Charles as I reach for a third cinnamon roll.

'Come on, have a roll. I can't possibly eat them all!' I say.

[C. Aylward]

'It's all politics. That's why you got the promotion. You're gifted with being able to navigate those politics. You're a regular Ronald Reagan! Me? I'm more of a Jimmy Carter.'

'More like the president that was so fat that he got stuck in the bathtub.'

*I say under my breath. The guys trying to be pleasant. I may as well take him up on his offer. I don't want to be the only one with nothing nice to say at his memorial service.*

'Sure, I'll have one.'

*I get up and walk over to Jims desk.*

'So what makes you think your getting picked? Didnt expect you to want the night shift though.'

*I say as I get the cinnamon roll.*

'Hey, these are pretty good.'

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

'Night shift, day shift, it's all the same.' I say. 'I'd finally be able to order the late-night drunk specials from the geasy spoons. mmmm....chicken finger and mozzarella stick sandwiches...' I say with my mouth watering. 

'Anything to move up the ladder.' I say.

'I mean, I gotta get picked! I've been here longer than you. I think the only one who beats me is Henry. Plus...who can resist Ol Jim?' I say as I take another drink of thick frosting from the styrofoam container.

 

'Hey, these are pretty good.'

'Come on now Charles. Do I look like a man who knows bad food?'

Edited December 31, 2020 by Chris07

[C. Aylward]

'Come on now Charles. Do I look like a man who knows bad food?'

'Valid point, These cinnamon rolls are great. I remember when I was on the midnight tour I would order from Mikes and they had this one menu called midnight munchies and they had this one sandwich called the chicken finger delight and it was chicken fingers, bacon and cheese served with honey mustard. Man, That sandwich would turn the worst night around.'

*Am I having a moment with Jim? talking about the sandwich that made me gain 20 pounds? Its a post christmas miracle.*

[A. Tai]

*Sizing up the large man passing me cinnamon buns, I decide it's in my best interest to take it and not offend the man. I'm still new here after all.*

'Thanks Jim. I take it these are personal favourites?'

[H. Goodricht]

*I swipe my wallet over the door to the sally port, and press the big red button once inside, granting access. Between the monotone beeps that identify the incoming calls, I hear light chatter and heavy breathing. Big Jim is on shift. And this is about to max out the company card.*

'Hey everyone. Figured as a thank you for not burning the place down last year, I'd put in a lunch order. I'm open to suggestions, though I know some of you will have better ideas than others. Any thoughts?'

[C. Aylward]

'Hey everyone. Figured as a thank you for not burning the place down last year, I'd put in a lunch order. I'm open to suggestions, though I know some of you will have better ideas than others. Any thoughts?'

'I'm up for anything as long as it's not too spicy. Once you hit my age heartburn is a bitch.'

*I say with a chuckle*

[M. Price]

'You know, I could go for a good meat lovers pizza'

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

'I guess ethnic's out then, eh Charles?' I say jokingly as I lean back in my chair. It creaks under my immense weight.

'If you want something more tame, there's Hubble Hoagies down on 4th just before meadowlark. Incredible Hoagies and highly under-rated....and they deliver if the order's large enough.' I offer up.

 

'You know, I could go for a good meat lovers pizza'

'Aww yes...if a good pizza is what you're after, then Pizza Pizaro is a good choice on this side of town.' I say.
'They have a good variety to.'

'Both are excellent choices.' I say salivating.

*I reach into the pastry box on my desk and feel around....and feel....and then open the lid a little bit. I'm shocked at what I find.*

All but two cinnamon roll is gone! There were a dozen in here!

Some fat bastard ate all the damn cinnamon rolls.

I grab another cinnamon roll, not realizing this was about to be my ninth.

[H. Goodricht]

*Watching him devour the third cinnamon roll since I've been in here, my stomach turns.*

'Haven't had a hoagie, in well, ever. How about pizza and hoagies? Everyone happy with that?'

*I pause, but look at Jim, noticing at least two others do the same. We're all waiting to see if the pure joy kills him or not. It's a calculated risk.*

[M. Price]

'Works for me'

*Not sure what I just agreed to though.  Hopefully it was about a pizza though.  Too concentrated on this welfare check call that just came in.  Of fuck I hope I didn't just broadcast that.*

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

‘Ahhh no need to complicate things Henry!’ I say cheerfully.

’We can just order from Pizza Pizarro. I’m fine with that. No need to mess with two places all on my count!’ 

*I start salivating*

’There pizzas are good....and their pizzas run large. You could stuff a bull moose with their XL pizzas! Hahahaha’ I laugh  as small bits of dried frosting start flinging off my beard.

’I’ll take a Holy Stromboli’ I say directly, already having memorized the menu long ago.

’...oh...and make sure you tell them it’s for  Jim Kowalski! They know exactly how I like it.’ I say.

While such a simple order for ‘ol Jim might seem shocking...little do they know that the Holy Stromboli was featured on Public Access TV a few years back as the largest Stromboli in town. At a mean 4 feet in length, it’s certainly a doozy. The guys at Pizza Pizarro love me so much, they make their own version special for me. Triple meat, triple cheese, and an extra foot in length. 5 feet of.....*drools*...Italian baked heaven.

[H. Goodricht]

'So you're gonna need 3. Noted. Everyone else good with a mix of the rest?'

*I look around and see general agreement, in between calls. With that, I walk back to the supervisor office, sit down and pull out my cell phone, wondering what the hell I just agreed to.*

'Charles, do me a favour, order a second table up here, I have a feeling with Jim's special order we'll need it.'

[C. Aylward]

'Sure, Ill call maintenance now. I think they have a few folding tables. While I do that can you get me a meatball parm hero?'

*I call downstairs and request a table.*

'Today may be the day. Big Jims heart might just pop. He was drinking frosting earlier and now he's eating a table size stromboli. But he's on my good side today. So can you order him a side salad? Healthy eating has to start somewhere'

[H. Goodricht]

'We feeding the cattle greens again? Jesus Charles. I'll get it all. Do me a favour, maybe have one of the ALS cars around here when lunch arrives. See if we can't post it nearby, or invite them in for a, I don't know, liaison meeting. I don't want to have the imagine carrying his corpse out of here.'

[Juan Ordóñez]

"Dios Mio." I say unloading all of the food out of my car. Thankfully I had sprung for the hatchback and had been at this long enough to bring my own pizza bag or else this would take quite a few trips. I go up to the building with my giant bag. I press the buzzer by the door so I can be let in. I hear the sound of someone pick up on the other side, 

"Hi my name is Juan Ordóñez with Door Da-" I say, before I can finish the rest of the sentence I hear heavy breathing on the speaker before it abruptly shuts off. A buzzer sounds and the door unlocks. I look at the order on my phone and read under the instructions "DELIVER TO DISPATCH CENTER". I look up and see a convenient arrow sign pointing the way. 

As I make my way to the room, I assume I should knock but the door is being held open and I see my cousin Pablo hauling in a table. I walk in and announce myself, "Hello, I am with door dash, I have an order from uh... Pizza Pizarro? It's for a number 9, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."

[R. Martin]

*I walk into the Comms Center right behind the Door Dasher, looking around to see who all was here.*

'Looks like I'm just in time for lunch,' *I laugh. I make my way over to an empty console and take my seat. I put on my headset and plug it in, then log into my phones and open up the channels I'd be monitoring.*

'How is everyone today?'

[J. "Big Jim" Kowalski]

Ohhhh goody goody goody! Lunch is here. I'm starving.

*I see Rebecca enter*

'Hey there darlin' I say politely.

'You wanna taste my stromboli? It's nice and meaty and it has a wonderful sauce' I offer her, completely oblivious of her lack of context.

Lunch orders are distributed to everyone in the room. Only one order remains. A giant 6 foot long stromboli. It's carried over to my desk with one end  on my desk, and the remaining 3 feet spilling over onto the extra table provided for me. It's like they knew!

'Oh boy...the Holy Stromboli! You know this used to be used as a 2 person eating contest? If 2 people could finish it, they got their picture on the wall!' I say.

'You'll all be amazed to know that 'ol Jim was the first and ONLY to finish it solo!' I say proudly of my gluttonous accomplishment.

*I proceed to prop the end of the delicious stromboli up on some old pizza boxes from the corner of my desk. The end of the stromboli is now at perfect mouth level.*

'911, what's you emergency?' I ask as I answer a call.

As I type, I rotate my head and take a massive bite out of the stromboli. Sauce and cheese oozes out.

I proceed to suck the large sauce drops up before they hit the desk...all while on the phone.

'Ok. So where is the fight? *SLUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP*' I ask the caller as I slurp up the sauce.

'Mmmmmmmm' I say as I indulge in the delicious stromboli. 

'What was that? 'the caller asks confused.

*I take another bite*

'I asked are there any weapons? *SLLLLLLUUUURRRRPPP*'

Edited January 9, 2021 by Chris07

[C. Aylward]

'You wanna taste my stromboli? It's nice and meaty and it has a wonderful sauce'

*I overhear Jim say.*

'Fuck my life.'

*I say as I pop the headphones used for listening to calls for plausible deniability as I prepare for the inevitable sexual harassment complaint.*

[A. Tai]

'You wanna taste my stromboli? It's nice and meaty and it has a wonderful sauce'

*Oh god. That's disgusting. I look over to Martin to see if she'll drop dead or not from embarrassment.*

'So, Martin, right? I don't think we met.'

 

[R. Martin]

'Hey Jim,' *I reply, smiling at him. He was such a nice guy, even if his survival was a miracle of modern medicine. The man weighed enough he had his own gravitational pull. Steps registered on the Richter scale.*

'You wanna taste my stromboli? It's nice and meaty and it has a wonderful sauce.'

*Oh dear. Jim. I laugh and shake my head, smiling.*

'Jim, sweetie, even I have standards. Low, but they're there.'

*I smile over at Aimee as she asks my name.*

'Yeah, Rebekah Martin. Aimee, right? I think we've just met in passing, but not officially.'